The Online No Bull Collection

HART 2 HEART
U GOT A QUESTION? • U GOT A PROBLEM? • LET’S HAVE IT THEN!

Please note: ALL letters are genuine except for some of the pictures ie the Bull! He is not a real bull but actually a chicken impersonating a bull. Just thought that needed clearing up!

Hey Mick,
Is it possible to put together a sustainable weight/mass gain cycle using only the following two pharmaceuticals? Testosterone Inj. and Oxandrolone Spa (anavar)?

Mark Heron

Hi Mark,
Sure mate. Here is how I would do it. One shot of testoviron every 5 days. You would have to do this because oxandrolone (Anavar) is pretty weak in comparison. For the two I would start on say 4 per day for the first week and move it up by two eg: 4, 6, 8, 10, 10, 8, 6, 4 for an eight week cycle Nolvadex suggested because of the tesoviron. Best to be safe mate.

Hello Mr Hart,
I have been going to the gym for seven months now fairly regularly. Its only been the past three months when I have decided to take it seriously. When I first started I was shown the correct exercises and ways to lift the weights, and have been following the trainers program they set for me. Going to the gym and finding the motivation is no problem but I’m not really seeing any gains s such. I am putting this down to my diet.

I dont really know what are the right foods to eat. I am 9.5 stone (133lbs) at the present time, and have strained to put on the half stone these past months. Im naturally thin and hate it. I train three days a week. Monday, Wednesday and friday. Usually for an hour each time. I am 22 years of age.

The reason why I started researching steroids was the fact that it can help build you up. This seemed like a good idea. I have read in your articles that its not wise to start using the gear at an early stage and train for as long and hard as you can before even thinking about taking it.
What I want to do is just put some weight on this bloody skinny body. I eat anything in sight and my jobs not too active so I’m not running around like a madman all day. I must have a crazy metabolism. Any words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated.

Stuart Gouge

Hi Stuart,
Have you seen the Layman’s Guides books? If not I would suggest that you do, simply because you need to be doing two main things:
1. You HAVE to be trying to eat every three hours even though we know it is a hard thing to do. Drinking protein shakes is one way we know, but in your case snacking on literally ANYTHING will be fine because at 9.5 stone you have nothing to lose but all to gain. In fact FAT will do you more good at this stage than anything. It will also spare the protein to build muscle and assist the carbs in giving you energy.
2. You definitely need to get on the gear. I would suggest a start on dianabol as this steroid is perfect for beginners and it is also oral.
As for your age, I feel that this is fine as it seems that you have used up all your cards and leaving it another 2 or 3 years will only be a waste of time.
Ref the Layman's Guides? The beginners course in there will be perfect for
you mate. Guaranteed. Also, go for the cycle EXACTLY as it states in the book!

Hey Mick,
I wanted to use your free consultation as a favour that I owe a female friend. I wanted to know what steroids (that I can purchase from my supplier in Mexico) are safe for females cycle?
Eric - USA

Hi Eric,
The answer depends mostly on what she wants to do, ie train for mass or condition etc. I would never recommend that a woman go to heavy on the gear. If they do the side effects can be a lot worse than those a man could experience. Having said that, with careful usage she will have no problems. With the list that you have sent me, I would go for the following but of course NOT all at once:

Proviron - 2 per day max
Deca - 1 shot every 5-7 days - tops!
Winstrol - max at about 6 per day
Oxandrolone - to about 6-8 per day at the peak.

Other higher tests can be used for size and strength but as I have said,
the chances of side effects increase with the higher the anabolic/androgenic gear. It’s your call mate, but be very careful. Bodybuilding fame may seem good, but when your gal borrows your razor not just for her legs because care was not taken earlier - things can be a little awkward to say the least!

Cheers
Mick

Dear Mick,
Mick since I last spoke to you my supplier of gear is some what lacking please with what I have available could you let me know you thought on a 12 week cycle for quality gains which I’ll keep thanks mate keep the good work up. Gear currently available:
Andriol 40mg tabs
Stanazol 50mg per ml/ 20ml vial rubber topped and also Equipoise.

Hi Mate,
Not a lot to go with there. But what I would do with that gear because of the availability would be on about an eight week course:
Andriol peak from 3 up to six per day - Stanzolol - 1ml every 3 days
Equipoise Boldenon 1ml every 4 days.
As I have said, not a lot to go on there. But if you can, try and get hold of some sustanon or tesoviron and take a shot at 1ml every 5 days which would kick the cycle in good style. If possible, deca would be good to and take a ml at least in the same jab as the sustanon or testoviron. If you can get hold of this, take out the equipoise as it will not be needed to be honest.

Dear Mick - Part One
I am really worried about my husband taking the supplement called One A.D. Is there anything that you can tell me about this. I have heard that it causes tremendous roid rage and it normally causes impotence. Have you heard of this?
Jill - USA - e-mail letter name changed for obvious reasons

Hi Jill,
Of course I will and would advise but I have never heard of this. But for a "supplement" it seems pretty strong to me! Are you sure it is a supplement and not a pure steroid? Send me details and I will try and help.

Dear Mick - Part Two
Well, it is 100% testosterone and it is the strongest "legal" pill that is manufactured. My husband and I work out everyday and the difference in him in the past 30 days is unreal! He was never a "small" guy but he has always been cut and defined everywhere. Now, he is massive and has a really bad attitude towards me and my child and will snap over the smallest things. I saw an ad in a magazine at the gym last night for the One A.D. Another thing is; the man that owns the gym that we work out at encourages the steroids and pushes it on all of the men. Tells them that they will never accomplish the size and strength without them. Should I worry?
Thanks for your time.
Jill - USA

Dear Jill,
To be honest and talking with much knowledge I have never known a "legal" pill to cause that much aggression and I still stand by what I say love. I fear that your husband must be taking much more than a "legal" pill; sadly due to the amount of aggression that he is showing. I would bet that to be true. The guy at the gym is obviously giving your husband much more than he makes out to be.
It really saddens yet angers me when I get these, albeit rare, types of letters as most of the guys that act hard and angry are just basically making the situation worse and actually make themselves think that they should be getting angrier just because they are on the gear. However, and for your safety, until you can find out more info, just be a little careful inasmuch as do not make things worse, don't provoke an argument and try to ask more when the situation is a little calmer. There must be a time when he seems that little bit more agressive. Maybe it is when he feels you are (quite rightly) "digging' at him for answers. Try not to push him into a corner and provoke arguments. Try and have a
close chat with him when others are about. In situations such as this, when assholes cannot see what is happening to them they are not prepared to listen to ANYONE! BUT when they can see themselves getting angry, actually see that they are taking to much, it mostly brings them down to earth. A video camera well placed would do the trick - but be careful if he is that bad or getting that way.
Please do not get me wrong love. I am on your side 1000% and am just saying that if your man cannot see what is happening, I would then say to worry and be very careful. It just seems so strange that a "legal" pill can do so much and I repeat myself again by saying he IS taking more than he makes out to be. The gym owner could be pushing a shit load more gear towards him than you thing! I think so. Take care love and remember that if you need any further advise - call me without hesitation. If you want me to have a chat with your man - I would be happy to do so.

Mick

Dear Mick,
I was having an argument with a guy in the pub re bodybuilders and their fitness levels. He say’s that although bodybuilders train on a regular basis, they are not as ft as they make out they are. I say that he is wrong and we are. Is he right or am I wrong? Bear in mind this is going to cost me a drink if I am wrong!
Alain B.

Dear Alain,
Sorry mate get your wallet out - he is right! Although we do train much more than the average guy, we are certainly not the fittest by any means. Fitness is measured in many ways, but I would say that the fittest people are those who use a mixture of weights and cardio which is obvious. Bodybuilders who just do weights and nothing else cannot be regarded as really fit! Fitt-er yes but not THE fittest by any stretch of the imagination mate.

Mick

Dear Gorgeous and lovely St. Mick,
Me and my friend have a question that we would like to put to you. As you can see, we are substancially well off in the breast department and we need to basically ask what exercises could we do to firm up pretty quickly? We really need to know what you think that you could do for us both. Also, if you give us the advice we would be more than willing to go to bed with you and jump your bones all night long and be really rude and stuff with your willy. OK there will not be many who believe this letter but we know that we can see a MAN BEAST STUD when we see one! But our main concern is our boobs. Will you assist us please.
Sisters Mary and Sheila, Cell Two - Main Nunnery

Dear Sister Mary,
I am sincerely honoured by your offer for constant, hard, filthy, no holds barred, “put-it-in-my-ear-and fuck some sense into me” sex in exchange for my coaching skills bit I am afraid that I must decline. The reason is simple - I am sick and tired of being a constant sex toy for you women and I am afraid that I am a little disgusted with you in fact. I am a husband and a father and will not be inticed by your evil minded sex games. However, being the professional that I am. I will insist that you take it out on some of my lesser strong minded readers. For they shall not see the light (especially if they get four of them like you two have). I must away now, for I have confession to attend and I expect to be there for a very long time. God Bless me for I am luverly!

Now then, away with you! I will show the pictures simply to just prove that MY readers are not interested and that you and your like will be sore-ly disappointed! Now then, where are my beads??

Mick